This and That

Hello! It has been awhile since we last chatted hasn't it? During my absence I have had much deep thinking about myself, my life and my marriage.

*I had been growing increasingly grumpy an unsatisfied with life and wasn't sure why... that is until I spoke with my sis one day. She helped me realize that I had lost myself. When entering a relationship it is easy to lose who we are and chameleon-ize for that other person - whether it be to impress the new significant/their family or because you feel pressured to conform. When I got married I had a whole other family very different from my own, new people at church, and I freaked out a bit. I knew married life would be different, but I didn't realize how different. What has made it so difficult is trying to be a new person. I thought, "Now I'm married I have to be like this, this, and this." Well I hate it and I'm not doing it anymore. I haven't felt like myself in a VERY long time, but I'm slowly regaining my footing on who I am and who I'd like to be. Just be you! This advice goes for a relationship at any stage. No one likes an imitation. I mean, really, who actually prefers Mr. Pibb to Dr. Pepper?

*I have a newfound hatred for nagging and rude people. If you constantly nag someone and are shocked that they avoid you, you are an idiot. That's like chowing down on ice cream every day and being surprised you got fat. And rude people with a lack of manners shows a lack of respect for others. Especially for someone you are in a relationship with. If you are constantly disrespecting the one you're with, and think they will just take it, you're in for a rude awakening. Trying to build someone up instead of bringing them down to your miserable level is much better because they will try to bring you up with them.

*Honesty can hurt and hurt bad, but it is crucial to any healthy relationship. It's like resetting a bone so it can heal properly. If left alone you're going to have a messed up arm or leg. If you let something fester between you and your significant it's going to get messed up.

*Last random item of the week - I just read this article on MSN.com and found there to be a great lesson in it http://lifestyle.msn.com/relationships/article.aspx?cp-documentid=23709555&gt1=32023

I hope all is going well and as always, I'm here if you need me XOXO

Check it!

Hello and happy spring break!!!!! Just a head's up on a few things this week...

*I did a webcast radio show of sorts last week and it was a blast! You can hear that at 4horsemen.com tomorrow, I believe.

*With some extra time this week I'll be revamping a few things on here with the help of my blog-savvy sister. Until I get those changes made I'm going to hold off on my weekly-wise-words, but as always if you have any questions just ask :}

~Take Care xoxoxo

Time may heal wounds, but not necessarily scars

After a particularly hard trip through the dating world, my heart hurt. It hurt bad and I was tired. So tired in fact that I came up with a therapy I lovingly call a "Cardio-ectomy" or a removal of the heart. I didn't want to put myself out there anymore, I was done. I put my heart away for some much needed RandR and didn't worry about romance. During that time I took a time out for me. Not in a selfish sort of way, more so I focused on school, went to lunch and a movie by myself, did a little shopping and hung out with my girls. You know what? I felt better, not all the way, but better and eventually I was able to move on. My wounds had healed, but my scars were there to keep me smart and remind me of lessons learned.

The other day I was browsing MSN.com and came across an article entitled "7 Signs You're Being Used" and I was reminded of that particular heartache. You see, sign #7 was about learning to make yourself happy instead of looking for that happiness in someone else. The main goal I try to help people reach is being happy and comfortable in their own skin before attempting to be in a stable relationship. If you are miserable with yourself, no one can fix your perspective for you, it has to come from inside you. Find out what you like about yourself. Find out what makes you happy. Then find someone.

But they started it!

Learning to say, "I'm sorry" had been a lesson I've had to work at quite a bit. My husband pointed it out, which at first I was annoyed, but he was right. I was a HUGE feminist in Jr. High and High school and thought the world (i.e. the male species) owed me an apology. I was the repressed gender right?? WRONG! What I have learned over the years, especially the last year-ish, is that it doesn't matter which gender you are it matters how you treat others. I don't think it's right to exert any power over someone else. It is time we start treating each other with respect. I know, I know, they started it... but that doesn't mean you need to continue it. It takes much patience and effort to learn to forgive and say sorry, but I'm telling you I am much happier in my marriage. And I know once you start being more forgiving so will your significant other.

To avoid any legal messes...

Hi all... call this a "legal disclaimer" of sorts. Just so we're clear, I'm not actually a licensed practicing psychologist. I am currently a psychology major who is in the process of getting my degree. Romantic relationships are what I find most interesting. I am constantly reading articles, books, and studies about love and relationships. Helping you and giving advice is my passion. I am doing this on my own time because I wanted to help. Think of me as a friend who gives great advice. I do not guarantee my advice will fix all your problems, especially because I don't know the situation entirely, but I try my best and call it like I see it. I hope this doesn't deter you from seeking out my help in the future.

Infinite x's and o's

Birth of a Blog

In the immortal words of Pat Benatar, "Love is a battlefield". This battle has intrigued me after kissing phillip White in preschool and having him never speak to me again. Where did I go wrong. I'm sure you have had experiences like these and I am now making it my life's work to help others avoid the same fate. And what better way to share my knowledge and experiences than through a blog! But don't think of it as merely a blog, but more your virtual date doctor, your go-to place. Disclaimer and apology in advance - when being told the hard, cold truth human nature kicks in and wants to get mean and nasty. If you don't like what I have to say, please intelligently debate instead of stupidly bash. Now that's out of the way, any advice you need or questions you have feel safe and free to ask. The Doctor is in :}